Yes, it's Saturday night, and I finished working out at the gym at 9pm, and getting ready to hit the bars, sort of like Sam Cooke. But, using my PC, I'm going perhaps to meet with friends in a gay bar. So, time changes things: Sam Cooke in 2009 would've been able to find someone on a Saturday night. But Sam Cooke, alas, died in 1964. IBM, on the other hand, has lawyers who are thinking that they are stuck in 1964. When I asked for computer files, why IBM and their lawyers told a federal judge that they can not do so, and it would perhaps require interviewing "hundreds of thousands of employees."
So, I took some of my Saturday night time to read IBM's response to me asking for their computer files. Apparently, IBM is not familiar with the IBM PC. Well, I'm being too harsh on IBM: perhaps IBM's lawyers at Jackson Lewis do not know how to use IBM PC's to search data files rather than interview several hundred thousand people to get the information.
Yes: I can also read minds, since you're thinking "IBM would not say that." So here is a clip from their 33 page brief:
Pretty scary, huh? IBM claims to a Federal Judge that they have to interview 100,000 employees, when all they need to do is ask the phone company for their IBM phone records (which IBM may already have in IBM's possession), and check emails from some key people.
Well, I've asked Kevin Lauri, Esq. from Jackson Lewis (IBM's labor law firm) to confer about settling this suit (he agrees, but IBM does not yet want to counter-offer on a dollar amount), so now I plan to ask Mr. Lauri to confer on getting electronic data from IBM. I guess if IBM can't meet federal laws on providing data for court, then think of all the smaller corporations who will say: "Gee, Judge, IBM can't get such information and doesn't know how, then how can we do it?"
Sarcarstically, and smilingly,
Peter
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